Chatsworth Summer Snapshots & A Little Catch Up

29 July 2018

A few weeks back we took a drive out to the peak district, through the towns of Matlock and Bakewell towards the beautiful Chatsworth House. It was so nice to get back out into the countryside again, taking a drive around the scenic, winding countryside roads with the windows down, and passing through the quaint villages of stone cottages and little shops and cafes.

I visited Chatsworth House for the first time last year and fell in love with it's beautiful grounds and gardens, so I just couldn't wait to get back again. It was lovely to spend some time adventuring around the different parts of the gardens, wandering around the rocks in the rockery gardens, hopping over stepping stones and streams of running water, and taking a stroll around the fountains and ponds where all the wildflowers were dancing in the breeze and sunshine.

After what has been an up and down couple of months, it was so nice just to feel at ease wandering around such a beautiful place and letting my troubles escape me for a moment.

It's been a while since I last wrote a little catch up on the blog. Things have just been a bit all over the place and there's been a lot of anxiety and stress that has been building up again over these past few months and times where I've just been feeling a little run down.

Back in early spring this year, things were starting to look brighter. I was getting back into a new job routine again and my creativity was picking up, after I had been struggling with a case of creative block back in late winter. Then a few months later, towards the start of this summer, my motivation and productivity levels took a turn and I was noticing that parts of my anxiety were slowly building up again. My energy felt drained and all of the overthinking, self-doubt and lack of confidence was beginning to take control.

I've been going through difficulties with anxiety and parts of depression for quite a few years now, which got a lot worse into my last year of sixth form, nearly 4 years back. And since then it's been very much up and down. I know most of the triggers, but then sometimes, when I least expect it, a cloud of anxiety will just loom over me which then brings all of the overthinking and self-doubt back again.

So lately I've been slowing down and taking things one step at a time. I've been thinking about some little things I want to change and focus on the positives again. I know that it'll take time, but I've been making steps towards tackling my anxieties, being more open about it by talking things over whether that be with a therapist, a friend or my mum, writing everything down and finding ways to manage it when things get too much. I've also been listening to helpful podcasts and reading books, which doesn't make me feel so alone listening or reading about others who are or have been going through similar things.

I've also been focusing on making changes to my creativity and setting some new goals for the rest of the year. I had fallen a little behind with creating content for the blog, working on my portfolio and had been a little quiet on social media. So I've been jotting down some ideas and have a few new posts in mind, that I'm hoping to work on over the next few weeks. I'm keeping positive that things will pick up soon!

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